so sick last nite

yea, after so much anger and tears with extreme sniffling, i felt horribly sick last nite with a throbbing headache... i went to the toilet and also puked, nothing came out.. only air..

then i couldn go bac to sleep because of the pain, when i finally did, i was awoken by the sweet melody of my alarm... Thank God the headache was gone, but my eyes were superbly sleepy... i had to force myself to go and wash up b4 work...

i dun care, later i'm going to have some sleep...
~

wat got me so riled up last nite was wj's attitude, and he says its my fault, yea yea is my black moody face he doesn like...

wat he doesn noe (and i dun need him or anyone else to noe) is that i've gotten better after awhile and even better after my dinner, plus the fact that i prayed and i could feel my anger disappear. but he had to refuse to tok to me when i went up. i did not want to feel angry so i decided to take my stuff and leave.

he had to call me and command me to go up and even said he was controlling his temper/violence. That kinda shook me up and started me thinking will he hit me in the future when we are married... i then smsed him and then consequently went up. i was so pissed off, i could feel myself hating him to the core..

i just let fly my rage and shouted at him, the emotion and tears that burst out kinda surprised me when i think bac on this incident. anyways, the whole issue was eventually resolved. but at the cost of my well-being... i really dun wan to be so emotional till i get sick...

yeah, i guess my condescending tone is to blame.... even though it doesn necessarily reflect my actual emotion, no one else could possibly noe, except me and God. so yesh, even if the whole world hates me, should i even give a damn?

ya, fine, i will zip my mouth the next time... and let ppl's misunderstanding of me snowball... i will still hopefully tok in a calm tone (even if ppl dun think so) i dun see the point of trying to convince others about hw i'm feeling or how i should feel... especially from the ppl closest to me... think of me whichever way, as long as i noe i'm nt feeling that way then its fine... God only noes and loves me entirely for who i am, i believe he doesn even get angry with me for being moody... simply because i'm his beautiful creation... Amen to that!