quarrel that mite.....

yepz, just last nite we had a quarrel followed by a cold war which was initiated by wj.
he says he will ignore me if i refuse to listen to him. nw many ppl are asking me to listen to them as well. my mum asking me to listen to her and nt bathe too late, she even asked my aunt to 'nag' at me, which my aunt also wan me to heed that advice.
i hear it, but whether i put it to action is another thing.

hearing is just one ear in and then out, while listening entails hearing and then heeding that advice. on the one hand, i'm really disturbed by what wj is doing but on the other, i'm slowly changing by his 'influence' if he doesn understand that and just blindly wans me to do everything he says in order to get happiness, i dun think i can do that....

his idea is simple, for me to 'defy' my mum, i would even be sure he'll suggest me to go out as late as i wan, go out anytime i wan, learn diving like him, dun say no when he needs me, learn other new skills maybe to also quit my job and go out to try different things, stayover with him as a "trial" before marrage to see if we are suited as lifelong partners, to stay with him after we ROM before we have our customary chinese dinner, the list is likely to be longer....

now if i were to listen to all this, sure, i mite be happy, but will it be for long?
when i noe that i mite put a strain to my family ties, which already isnt really that good, i dun feel good as well, especially when my mum is aging, and frankly speaking not much time left for her before she goes heaven. i surely need not speed things up for her by driving her mad, rite? anyways i could perhaps do some of it but to him, its definitely not alot and not enuf...

of course wj cant understand this "silly" point of mine. if he's reading this, he'll probably be hopping mad, but i'm penning all this down in here, not sure where else i can pour it out....

Lord, i leave this matter into Your hands, my sadness, my anger and hurts, for You are my fortress, my stronghold and forever my protector. Amen!