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walking alone along the dark path, homeward bound, i was overwhelmed with a sense of loneliness and melancholy. thinking of those who are having fun over cold crab and cranium, i can only sigh and lament inwardly.
perhaps, i was never considered one of them, the ties that bind btw cousins, and me a nobody except through the connection to wj. an intruder true and true, which is why when i'm around, there never seems to have any game playing like taboo.
i'm perhaps just interrupting the fun among the rest, nothing more. something that tells me i'm probably unwelcome. maybe a little oversensitivity on my part, but i'm pretty sure i'm rite
oh, whatever it is, maybe i should be thinking of what i can do on my own, instead of depending on ppl ard me (even wj) to provide the happiness and good cheer, they dont anyways, and probably despise me secretly. i can only say that disappointment with certain ppl hangs in the atmosphere
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i also just found out wj reads my blog, i nvr wanted him to read it, but apparently he does.... sheesh... anyways, still this blog will nvr cease to be my main complaint ground...
ReplyDeleteand no wonder he replies me monosyllabically about his crab and cranium gathering.... as if it will make me feel worse... the answer is no!
ReplyDeletenothing can make me feel worse other than my disappointment in him choosing to join his cousins rather than spending the little time we have, since he's going on a trip with (who else) his cousins....
i tot i was happy he wanted to company me home first, but ended up? his cousins tell him no la difficult to give the address, and he wavers and decides not to company me...
such a disappointment was so palpable, it took me awhile to cool, even then i was and still am sore. also the fact that i have a certain feeling that his cousin's cousin or mayb even his cousin dislikes me... and i cant seem to shake this feeling away...