Wednesday, January 27, 2010

fleeting thoughts

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are frens meant to be like that? sometimes i wonder.... mayb they do not consider me as their fren, mayb just colleagues and mere acquaintances...

this colleague who was leaving the company took my other 2 colleagues out for lunch and did not inform me... ok.... mayb i shdn even have expected... nowadays (or rather since long time ago), i was visibly left out from their group.. so i guess it was no strange thing that they left for lunch just like that... the thing was that when i asked where they going for lunch, that colleague was evasive and simply said just going out of this place.... well, she wouldn even tell me where they were going.... so what does that mean?
well i guess simply that... i'm not considered her fren... i didn even noe today was her last day till i read her facebook... (apparently i could guess she was leaving earlier from her comments, and of course no mention of it from anyone not even my dad)
okok, i'm just meant to be left out of things... i dun even noe why? its as if when they tell me i'm going to tell everyone else... nopez, i can respect ur privacy as long as u tell me u dun wan to let anyone else noe about this... besides, most of my secrets are told to wj, who keeps everything to himself...
anyways, yea, sometimes it bothers me so much and makes me so unhappy, but..... i guess..... if thats what she (or others) are, why do i even bother about them??? rationally speaking yes, i could jolly well not care about how they treat me and still continue toking to them... but emotionally i feel so..... sad..... like i cant let go of this sad feeling.... even if i can temporarily push them aside or forget them, it will still come back to haunt me...
thats when i become all-so-negative again....
i noe all this about myself, but i have no idea wat i shd do??? what can i do???
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3 comments:

  1. just forget that person and think about all the other friends you have.. ;)
    Phoebe

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  2. yupz, i guess... getting busy with work helps ;)

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  3. after hearing one colleague telling me about how she feels, i'm pretty sure now that i shdn feel upset for that one ex-colleague
    plus all the past 'frens' walking away from me

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