fleeting thoughts

~
are frens meant to be like that? sometimes i wonder.... mayb they do not consider me as their fren, mayb just colleagues and mere acquaintances...

this colleague who was leaving the company took my other 2 colleagues out for lunch and did not inform me... ok.... mayb i shdn even have expected... nowadays (or rather since long time ago), i was visibly left out from their group.. so i guess it was no strange thing that they left for lunch just like that... the thing was that when i asked where they going for lunch, that colleague was evasive and simply said just going out of this place.... well, she wouldn even tell me where they were going.... so what does that mean?
well i guess simply that... i'm not considered her fren... i didn even noe today was her last day till i read her facebook... (apparently i could guess she was leaving earlier from her comments, and of course no mention of it from anyone not even my dad)
okok, i'm just meant to be left out of things... i dun even noe why? its as if when they tell me i'm going to tell everyone else... nopez, i can respect ur privacy as long as u tell me u dun wan to let anyone else noe about this... besides, most of my secrets are told to wj, who keeps everything to himself...
anyways, yea, sometimes it bothers me so much and makes me so unhappy, but..... i guess..... if thats what she (or others) are, why do i even bother about them??? rationally speaking yes, i could jolly well not care about how they treat me and still continue toking to them... but emotionally i feel so..... sad..... like i cant let go of this sad feeling.... even if i can temporarily push them aside or forget them, it will still come back to haunt me...
thats when i become all-so-negative again....
i noe all this about myself, but i have no idea wat i shd do??? what can i do???
~

my headache

i cannot handle facing anyone at the moment, with the headache.... besides, i cant quite bring myself to forget something that happened... someone simply brushing aside something i had formed (or thought i'm trying to form). so much conflicting emotions, so much thinking.. so much that i cant let go... something that i cannot simply type down into words... now my headache is the forefront of everything...
awwww!!

something that puzzles me

this morn my phone alarm failed to ring and i was awakened by my dad. i on my phone to check and realised it was out of battery... but... i vaguely remembered when i offed my phone early last nite it still has 2 bars! unless i did not off my phone properly and it restarted? i'm pretty sure i did off it properly.
the second thing that puzzled me was the way i placed my phone b4 i sleep. it wasn supposed to be in a precarious situation where it is likely to drop or fall onto the table.... very very strange...
as if my phone was touched last nite...
only by me, unless i sleep-walked!!??? hmmm.... mayb i shd monitor my phone again... sigh!

eventful new year for 2010

its been a great whirlwind of events, watched sherlock holmes and alvin and the chipmunks, ate buffalo wings level 10 spicyness that literally numbed my body and caused tears to well up, got a real LV wallet at orchard ion as a gift from wj's uncle, he got everyone to choose something from the shop, amazing! and its my very first (and probably last) branded good. everyone came away with LV bags but i didn want to be conspicuously seen bringing it along, so i chose a wallet, lol
the highlight was actually the buffalo wings, its a first and also mayb the last spicy affair... level 10 was the highest on the menu but its not the highest as we expected... we actually have to request for the higher levels (with level 35 the highest and a certificate given to anyone who manages to finish 6wings) wow! i couldn really picture anyone finishing to that level!
woohoo, *blowing out smoke :D